Unfortunately for me my inability to control my anger at that time spilled out on those closest to me, and I hurt someone I care very much about. She decided she did not want anything more to do with me and deleted me from her friends list, and hung up on me when I tried to call her hoping to talk things through. Another friend tried to help, but in my messed up state of mind I am afraid I only made it worse.
![n1.114.gif](https://j7w7h8q2.ssl.hwcdn.net/assets/img/emot/blog/n1.114.gif)
I would like to make a post note to this. Some say when a friendship is broken it can not be fixed. I do not agree. Full trust can not be regained if it is lost but friendships can be rebuilt IF BOTH wish it so. Thing is BOTH must want it to happen. I have a friend in Canada. She hurt me several years ago and I did not talk to her for 6 months. I actually thought we would never be friends again. Although I deleted her I never iggied her and one day she showed up in a game room I was in and told me she wanted the friendship back and was willing to do what ever it took. She was as good as her word she did what I asked and our friendship is as strong as it ever was, but it was made so because we BOTH wanted it.
I am afraid I will need to find a way to live with what I have done that cost me this friend, but that does not stop it from hurting. It does not matter if you cut your own leg off or if someone else cuts it off for you the pain will be equal. The same is true of emotional pain , it does not matter if it was self inflicted or done by someone else it still hurts.